Stress Awareness Month is an annual event focusing on stress management and campaigning against the stigma associated with stress and mental health issues. This year the theme for the campaign is the theme “Little By Little” which highlights the transformative impact of consistent, small positive actions on our over-all wellbeing.
In this blog we discuss what stress is and how to try and manage our stress little by little, to create real change for the good.
“I’m Stressed” is a common phrase we often hear nowadays. We have probably all experienced stress in our lives from time to time –being under pressure or worried is a normal part of day-to-day life. If we want to deal with our ‘stress’ first, we need to know what it really means and how it affects us. Our stress response can be helpful at times and at other times become emotionally and physically overwhelming. If we experience it for prolonged periods it can lead to mental and physical health problems.
So, what does “stress” mean?
A stress reaction usually occurs as a response to something happening around us. If our body thinks it’s under attack, then it releases a mix of hormones and chemicals to prepare our body to ‘fight or flight’. Just like our ancestors did when they had to respond to animal or human threats to protect their home or feed their family. They often needed a huge rush of adrenaline to survive.
Today we don’t face ‘saber tooth tigers’ anymore but we can still experience danger at times which means we still need that ‘fight or flight’ response and adrenaline rush to enable us to quickly e.g. jump out of the way of a speeding car or something threatening.
However, at times in our life, that same stress response can be triggered by situations that aren’t physically threatening. Living in uncertain times for long periods is stressful. The same stress response might be triggered when there is too much work to do, a large bill to pay and not enough money, or a difficult drive with lots of roadworks. Stress can also have it’s origins within us. For example, trying to apply impossibly high standards we struggle to achieve, or other beliefs about ourselves, others, or the world around us that make us feel unable to cope with what we face. One way of thinking about stress is it occurs when we feel that our ability to cope is outweighed by the stresses or concerns we face so we feel out of balance.
Our module ‘Understanding your feelings/Why do I feel so bad” explains in a user-friendly way how stress builds and effects how you feel and what you do. This module helps you to learn a way of understanding why you feel as you do to deal with situations in a more helpful way. Perhaps we often cannot change what is going on around us, but we can often change how we respond to stressful situations.
The five areas® Vicious Cycle and Stress
The five areas® vicious cycle is a way of understanding how we feel. Different situations we face in life can leave us feeling stressed. Arguments with people, losing our job, dealing with difficult neighbours, noise, family issues, money worries; the list is endless. Challenges like these can make us feel anxious and low and affect how we also feel physically. We can start thinking we are useless, and then can’t have the energy or be bothered doing anything, and before you know it you are caught up in a vicious cycle of worrying thoughts and unhelpful behaviours.
The good news is it can also spin the other way and become a virtuous cycle.
To tackle stress, the cycle can be helpfully “broken” in different ways.
Practical problem solving
By tackling problems outside us the demands/challenges faced can be reduced, and this can improve stress. The key is to break large problems down into smaller steps that can then be tackled one step at a time. We will describe this in more detail later in this article – see the Easy 4-Step Plan (E4SP).
Altered Thinking
With stress, it’s not just the situations outside that affect how we feel. It’s what we say to ourselves about those situations. Let’s say for example you have been made redundant- how does this life event affect how you think about things? That same event might lead to different reactions in different people. So, one person might see redundancy as an opportunity to move, try a new job or re-train. For someone else they might focus on why they have been redundant- seeing it as a problem and personal failure in themselves.
When we are stressed, we often don’t see life in a balanced way, and instead we focus on negative things.
Altered Feelings & Altered Behaviour
Unhelpful thoughts go round and around in our head – this is called ‘unhelpful thinking. and it can make us feel worse (stressed, down guilty etc.) and also affect how we respond (for example withdrawing from others, giving up for a time and staying in bed, drinking to try and improve out fitful sleep etc.). These changes can make us feel worse and worse and the vicious cycle can spin.
Again, the vicious cycle can be broken by planning to respond in helpful ways. For example, choosing to slow down and settle, rather than responding in stressful ways. So, approaches like Tension control training (TCT) available within the course can make a difference.
Common altered behaviours that can add to stress include:
- Avoidance/reduced activity. When stressed we can often tend to withdraw from doing things that can seem too difficult. For example going to particular places such as shopping, or driving or parking at a busy time.
- Losing confidence with others: can again lead to an avoidance of meeting particular people, or being in particular situations that seem too stressful. For example giving a presentation at work, speaking or mixing with others.
Other unhelpful responses/behaviours to watch out for
Quite often when someone is feeling stressed, they can fall into patterns of responding that are unhelpful for them. Things like smoking or drinking more, impulsive shopping, driving too fast or other risky behaviours which can backfire. In our module and ebook ‘The Things You Do That Mess You Up’ we talk about why we do things when they are bad for us and how we can do more helpful things to make us feel better. The key thing is these responses often make us feel better in the short term. But in the longer term they can cause physical, emotional, or social harms to us. It’s a short-term gain for a longer -term pain.
Stress Management
The key to good stress management is building problem solving skills and emotional wellbeing using some of the techniques we have just talked about to make you feel you are more in control of your situation, but also it is important to make sure that you have a good social network around you, and as positive an outlook as you can.
If you are dealing with a lot of stress in your life, deal with it like you would any BIG problem- you can break your stress down into manageable chunks.
Breaking things down into Manageable Chunks – the Easy 4-Step Plan
If you want to make big changes- do it one step at a time. Tackling a problem like debt? Wanting to reduce problem drinking? Get a new job? Paint a room? Sort out an overgrown garden? Do it one step at a time with a series of small manageable steps. Don’t be too ambitious, set yourself achievable targets to achieve what you want to do.
The Easy 4 Step Plan:
Step 1 Break your problem into chunks
Step 2 Brainstorm ways how to tackle the first step
Step 3 Choose an idea, make a plan and do it!
Step 4 Check your plan and put it into practice as we mentioned above.
Taking small steps to achieve positive things will make you feel better, and the more you do this- the better you feel, and then the more you will do. You will have slowly, but effectively started to spin your cycle around in the other way, breaking free of your vicious cycle and creating a virtuous cycle instead.
Use Stress Busters
As well as trying the above techniques for managing your stress we advise trying some good old-fashioned stress busters. Some of the best ways to combat stress can be as simple as going for a walk in the fresh air and staying active. Exercising often makes you feel better. Climbing stairs is one of the best ways there is to get fitter and get that happy stuff in your head. Perhaps take the stairs next time you’re out then decide to keep on doing it. Or consider getting out when the weather is nice, or even if the weather is bad – just wrap up warm and you’ll feel the benefit of the fresh air anyway. Can’t easily get out or up and down stairs? Perhaps even so there are things you can do from a chair or bed that still stretch or strengthen your body?
Stay Connected to People
Connecting to other people and spending time with people we like can be really good for us. Having a cup of tea with a friend or relative and talking over some of our worries can make them suddenly seem not quite so daunting. Other people often provide a perspective on life that we might not be applying to our own. Being with people or our pets also entertains us, quite often laughter is all we need, and spending time with people/animals who we care about can be just the tonic. Perhaps there are other reasons that make it difficult for you to go out just now. If so, look at ways to connect with people from inside your home on Zoom or Facetime/What’s App calls for example.
Eat well- nourish your body with the right foods
Stress can affect our digestive system, sleep habits and other areas of our lives. When stressed, many of us turn to food. We may binge eat and make less favourable choices. Consider making healthy choices, cooking some meals with fresh ingredients from scratch, and avoiding too much caffeine or alcohol.
Give Yourself a Break
Remember if you are feeling really stressed out, it can be helpful to be kind to yourself. Might you treat yourself to a hot bath with essential oils. Or take a break – relax, read a book, or watch a movie. Consider enjoying some quality time away from your work or situation to do something that is good for you. It can help to establish a regular sleep pattern, with a set time for bed and time to get up.
Lastly- remember we are all in this together. It’s important that we look out for each other and check on those in our families and communities who might need help. Help with some shopping, a friendly phone call or a simple smile on the way past can change someone’s day. A simple smile can be infectious- so go on, give it a go.
Finally, if you want to discover ways of overcoming stress – our Worry Box books for young people or Adults could be just the answer.
The Living Life to the Full Team.
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